Dating with a child – How do I bring it up on the first date?

Introduction: Between gut feeling and responsibility

Single parent and ready to date again? That's a brave and significant step. However, many mothers and fathers ask themselves: When and how do I tell my date that I have a child? And how do I react if my date can't handle it? In this article, you'll learn how to be honest and confident about your parenthood – without justifying yourself or hiding.

Why this question is so important

For many singles without children, the fact that you have a child is a decisive factor. Not because they judge you, but because it affects their own lifestyle. That's why you shouldn't hide the issue or bring it up too early. It's all about balance: honesty without invading your child's privacy.

When is the right time?

1. Mention it in your online profile?

That depends on the portal. Some platforms have separate filters for parents. If openness is important to you, feel free to mention your child discreetly in your profile text – for example, in a subordinate clause such as: ‘I love picnics with my little daughter.’

2. During the first chat or date?

You should definitely bring up the topic on the first date – but not as the main topic. Ideally, when it fits naturally into the conversation. It's important to phrase it confidently: you're a mother or father – and that's not something you need to explain.

How to bring it up: 5 honest phrases

‘By the way, I have a son. He's 5 and makes me laugh every day.’

‘My daughter is a big part of my life. I'm a single parent, and yes – it's exhausting at times, but also wonderful.’

‘I have a child who is very important to me. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this.’

‘I want to be open with you: I'm a mum/dad. If that's not okay with you, that's totally fine.’

‘Parenthood is a part of me – but it's not the only thing I'm about. I'd be happy to tell you more if you like.’

These sentences show that you are being honest without justifying yourself. You are giving the other person the opportunity to engage – or not.

What if my date reacts negatively?

That can happen – and it's better to find out early on. Not everyone is ready to deal with a child from a previous relationship. That says nothing about your worth – but about the reality of your counterpart's life. Stay friendly, but clear: you're looking for someone who wants you WITH your child, not DESPITE your child.

Child yes – details no

As proud as you are of your child, maintain a certain amount of privacy at the beginning. No name, no place of residence, no photos – this not only protects your child, but also shows emotional maturity. Talk about your role as a parent rather than your child as a person.

What do many single parents want when dating?

Understanding for their limited time

Honesty without pity

Openness to blended families or their own desire to have children

Patience to get to know each other slowly

Respect for priorities: the child comes first

If your date respects that – jackpot.

Conclusion: stand by your life – and open your heart

You are not just a mother or father – but you are also one. Those who love you love you for everything that makes you who you are. That includes your child. If you are honest and respectful from the start, you will attract people who are right for you – and that's the goal, isn't it?

So: Be brave. Be clear. And don't forget – your life deserves love.